There are many decisions to be made when entering the foster care system. What agency will you go with? What age group are you willing to take on? All kinds of check boxes determining what level of care you are qualified for. What experiences, illnesses, and exposures you are willing to care for in your home. All of these are important—many nerve-wracking and require some soul searching. But my biggest hang-up to date? Paint. Yes ladies and gentlemen, paint. We have poured over colors. Used interactive color simulators. Looked on Pinterest. I think William is on sample color 9 or 10? I cannot find the perfect color. For me the paint sets the tone of the entire room. We are open to either gender and will be licensed ages 0-6. There's a lot of room for color and style there! As a writer and a marketer, the name is as vital as any part of it. I can't paint the room "vaporize" or who wants to sleep in "ozone?" My husband tells me, "don't let the name get to you," but I can't help it! I envision lying beside my future foster child, comforting them when they can't sleep, and telling them about the color of their room and how many colors we went through to get there. And isn't that a sweeter conversation when you can say, "Do you know what color this room is? Calm." Don't get me wrong, I know it must sound insane to some that this is one of my largest obstacle so far. William has even stopped other women in the store and asked them to look at the 20 samples in my hands and give their opinions. (His desperation level reached a peak probably two Home Depot trips ago.) When I collapse on the floor of the hardware store and spread out the sheets I want to land on a color and shout "Eureka!" But alas, I hold "blue hydrangea" and think to myself, my Pa loved hydrangeas. That would be nice, like a piece of him was there looking over them. But does it look embody light blue-gray feathery hydrangeas when we put it on the wall? Of course it doesn't. We have paint swabs on the floorboards, the far wall, the window wall and still, I am have not found "it." The color that calls to me. That says this is the color that you should paint the room that will welcome a child. This is the color that will calm fears, read stories, welcome playtime, and correct poor decisions. That's a lot of pressure to put on a paint chip you might say. And you wouldn't be wrong. Does the paint symbolize finality? Is it a commitment to completing the room and therefore saying we are ready for a Home Study? Is it saying that we are ready to put our hearts on the line for a child that may be in this room for a week and may live in it for years? Maybe. Maybe it's all of those things and maybe it's just paint. xoxo
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWriting is really my outlet, so you'll mostly see my prose on here. But William might occasionally make a guest appearance. Archives
May 2021
Categories |