In the adoption-foster care community, its common to share the story of how the fabric of your unique family came to be woven together. (Think support group without the 12 steps. But we still have coffee and sweets sometimes.) Often the narrative starts something like this, "I knew I really wanted to adopt/foster/love children in hard places, but my husband wasn't so sure at first." It's totally fine, our story follows a similar plot line! But, somewhere along our bumpy road, you said "yes" enough times to end up here. To be in the throes of parenting and doing our best to be there when others couldn't. And you my friend, are why they have special days set aside to say, "We see what your'e doing. Thank you." Parenting is hard. Parenting someone else's children is also hard. Parenting someone else's children when they start to feel like your own may be the hardest. Moms get a lot of credit in this world (and we deserve it, no doubt), but these children were hungry for a strong, loving father figure—and they found one. You do a lot of behind-the-scenes things that you may never get credit for. And while they may not say "thank you" all that often, I promise you, they are watching. They see you open doors and they watch you clear your plate. They want to be able to make grass whistle just like you. They want to know why you didn't eat your peas and they order tea at restaurants (even if they don't get it). They want you to see their artwork and their towers, and watch Garfield with you in your big, comfy chair. I know that this is not an easy road. I know that you are tired and frustrated (Me too, babe. Me too.) There have already been several moments when we have looked at each other with terrified expressions, not knowing what should come next. Both fully aware that the other is questioning our sanity. But then, in the calm after the tantrum, they want you to read them their bedtime story or have their post-time out talk with them and even if it crushes my mama heart just a little, it also swells with pride. And I watch as something transpires that wasn't there before, a father's love. When someone said they couldn't right now, you said, I will. When someone said I don't know how, you said, I'll try. When someone hurt them, you said, I'll protect you. When someone said I just need a break, you said, I'll take over. When someone said I don't have time, you said, I'll make it. When someone cried for help, you extended a hand. When God asked for you to serve Him, you said yes. Happy Foster Father's Day. And because we probably forgot again, thank you for loving us.
xoxo
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AuthorWriting is really my outlet, so you'll mostly see my prose on here. But William might occasionally make a guest appearance. Archives
May 2021
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