My Uncle Clarence was quite possibly one of my most favorite people on earth. A retired Baptist preacher, he had a way of telling it like it was, but with the most mischievous grin you ever saw. He, unfortunately, passed away long before I got married, but he had some advice before he left. Once, when I was talking to him about his love Marilyn, he said, "It's easy to love a bride. Brides are beautiful. They spend hours getting ready for a day they planned for, often for a very long time—and you don't really have to do anything. You just show up." {He grinned.} "But the part that really matters, is showing up after all of the wedding stuff is over." And he's right. Weddings aren't always easy, but they aren't the hard part either—they aren't the marriage. It's your first apartment, and your first home. Planning adventures and staycations you can experience together. Getting that free birthday Starbucks because that's all the money you have that year. Him learning to color your hair because you can't afford the salon. Celebrating promotions and grieving job losses. It's staying when you really don't want to. It includes some very sweet hellos, and the most painful goodbyes. It's losing babies and holding new ones. Going to events you'd rather not because they want to. It's suggesting Chinese when you'd rather eat pizza. It's an endless, endless supply of selfies. Raising furbabies, and struggling to let go. Going on journeys you never thought you'd be on. Celebrating National Hot Dog Day—because she loves them. Home projects and paint samples. Hunkering down during hurricanes and waiting out ice storms. Family and food and gathering. It's being so mad you could spit, but washing their socks anyway. The flaws and the mess we all carry as human beings. Figuring it out. Getting lost. Scrapping the plan. Praying for a new plan. Marriage falls apart a thousand times over the years. The question really is, are you going to show up, and keep putting it back together? I admit, sometimes it can feel like a hard choice. But here we are...we keep finding the pieces somehow and it's making quite a tapestry this life we're building. Cheers to 8 years—and whatever the next ones bring! xoxo
1 Comment
Lydia Russell
2/17/2021 03:49:47 am
great job. Harold and I have been married almost 22 years. we still take selfies too.
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AuthorWriting is really my outlet, so you'll mostly see my prose on here. But William might occasionally make a guest appearance. Archives
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