Mothers, don’t let yourselves grow up to be Barb. Since 2002, the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise has certainly seen their share of onscreen villains, but this season produced a sleeper no one expected—Barbara Weber. The world fell in love with Weber’s family on Hannah Brown’s season of the Bachelorette. They were equal parts fun-loving and emotionally invested. So if you know the show at all, you expected the heavy lean on Peter’s family during his season. And the overly played “fence jump” moment in all of the trailers? Barb’s breakdown pleading with her son, “Don’t let her go. Bring her some to us.” Get it together, Barb. So fast forward through the season and yes, solid Peter, a 30-something successful pilot chooses the woman his mama told him to. She is delighted—he is miserable. Do we see what just happened here? In an effort to appease his mother’s wishes, he hurt several people in the process, including himself. I think Mama Barb’s heart was in the right place. She had genuine concerns for her son and the fact that they had core lifestyle differences that could cause friction in any relationship. {Much less one that was manifested on a reality TV show within a few weeks.} Did she have a right to express these to her child in a loving way in an effort to protect him from foreseen heartbreak? I think so. Should she have accepted his choice once he made it? Absolutely. As mothers, we never stop feeling responsible for our children. There’s a primal desire to protect them from things that cause lasting heartache and deep damage. However, raise your children. And then, trust someone else to love them, too. And as their mother, you have to push yourself to love their person almost as much as they do.
If that person is not causing immense harm to your baby, or your baby’s babies, take a step back. Push them to live on their own in this world and build a life outside of your nest for themselves. Trust the man or woman that you raised and encourage them to trust themselves. Don’t be Barb. xoxo
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AuthorWriting is really my outlet, so you'll mostly see my prose on here. But William might occasionally make a guest appearance. Archives
May 2021
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